


don't take it away from me

by theinvisiblemay



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M, hardzello
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 09:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18221498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinvisiblemay/pseuds/theinvisiblemay
Summary: bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me, because you don't know what it means to me...warnings: swearing, lots of angst, a little bit of smut, mentions of death





	don't take it away from me

_you have to let go... there's nothing more you can do, please, you have to move on._.. - it was all i could hear. but they don't know what it's like to lose someone. to lose your last hope, the only person that mattered. they don't know how it feels like, and yet here they are, trying to cheer me up. well, good luck with that.

~ a few months ago ~

ben woke up early, too early. the sun has just started to rise, so he decided to stay in bed for a bit longer. he closed his eyes, trying to remember what happened at night. and when he finally managed to relive last evening in his head, he felt a gentle kiss on his neck. ben turned around, smiling, to see the red headed man, with his eyes slightly ajar, softly biting his lip.  
"good morning, benjamin", he whispered, placing another kiss on ben's cheek.  
"good morning, joseph", the blond one said, climbing on top of joe with a smirk on his face. "how are we feeling today?" he asked quietly, running his fingers through joe's hair.  
"good enough to get out of bed and do something productive", joe laughed, bringing the other's face to his and kissing him gently. ben placed his hands on joe's chest, returned the kiss, and well, there goes their productivity.

"allen called when you were in the bathroom, he wants to take us shopping for his wedding", ben asked, finishing his breakfast. "are we going or do you have something else in mind?"  
joe looked at the clock and sighed. "i'm meeting sebastian and will today, they want me to take part in their... something", he smiled apologetically. "you should go though, the wedding's soon and we still don't have proper suits to wear", he chuckled, taking two matching cups in order to make coffee.  
"you know how much i hate shopping, don't you?" ben pouted, getting up to help his lover. "and do you know what i hate even more?", he paused, waiting for joe's reaction. the redhead raised his eyebrow, ben took a deep, dramatic breath and continued. "going out without you by my side", ben smiled softly, hugging joe from behind.  
the other guy laughed quietly, kissing ben on the cheek and handing him his pink cup. "benjamin, you are  _unbelievable_ ", joe laughed, pushed ben back a bit, so he could sit on the tabletop. he took a sip of his coffee, spread his legs and pulled ben closer to him. "how much time do we have before you leave?", he asked, staring into the younger one's eyes and biting his lower lip. "enough to fulfill your dirty fantasies", ben answered, deepening his voice, grabbing joe's hips tightly. a few moments later they were kissing greedily, like there was no tomorrow. ben started to unbuckle joe's belt, biting the older one's lip every now and then, when they both felt strong vibrations coming from ben's jeans. "oh dear, i thought we were saving our toys for later", joe whispered, breathing heavily, trying not to laugh. "that's my phone, you idiot", ben murmured, cursed under his breath and took his phone out.  
"what do you want, lee? i'm kinda busy right now, can i call you back later?", he said angrily, still struggling to get into joe's pants. "no, you can't visit us now, why? well... joe is leaving soon and i'm working out", he said, trying not to laugh. the other one decided to have a little fun and started to place little kisses on ben's neck, knowing that it's his weak spot. he giggled when ben moaned quietly, and moved to the other side, softly biting the crook of his neck. " _oh fucking hell_... gwil, i... i think i hurt my ankle, i'll talk to you later, bye!", ben said, putting his phone back into the pocket. "you're lucky i have to go", he said, backing off slowly. "but when i'm back home, i will fuck the hell out of you", he whispered, smiled, kissed joe and a minute later he left the apartment.  
"can't wait, lovie!", joe shouted after his man and started to get ready for god knows what.

"alright, that's enough for today!", said sebastian, falling onto the ground laughing. he and will wanted to do something funny, so they created a thing called  _one minute man_ , short videos that made no sense but were absolutely hilarious. one day they decided to invite joe to use his acting and screaming skills.  
after they all calmed down, joe offered to grab some drinks, and so they did. he texted ben that he'll come back home a bit later, and got worried when he didn't get a text back.  _he's probably still with allen and gwil_ , he thought, and continued to have fun.  
it was getting dark, so they all decided to say goodbye. ben still didn't reply, so joe called allen and was told that he should be at home for an hour now. joe rushed back to their apartment, getting more and more nervous. _what if he got mugged? or had an accident? or maybe he's cheating on me?_  
joe could barely open the front door, his hands were shaking so much. when he finally managed to do it, he rushed to the living room, not even bothering to close the door behind him. "ben? benjamin?!", he asked with shaky voice and teary eyes. and no one answered. he checked the kitchen and the bathroom - no signs of ben being there. a single tear streamed down joe's face when he slowly went to the bedroom. he opened the door only to see ben's head on the pile of pillows, his body covered in blankets. he was asleep, looking like an angel. joe felt such a relief he started sobbing, took his clothes off, went to bed, hugged ben from behind and fell asleep in no time.

when he woke up in the morning, there was a note on the bed, in place of his boyfriend. _i went to grab some fresh breakfast for us, sorry for stealing your car. love you, b x_. joe smiled, sent a good morning text to his friends, got up and started his morning routine. he felt dizzy while getting out of the shower, but blamed it on the alcohol and long time without a proper meal. he went downstairs, feeling that something was wrong. he took his phone out, saw an unread message from gwil, closed his eyes and fainted.  
_joey, ben had an accident, he's in hospital. come here asap._

_~~~_

"good morning, my love", joe said with his raspy morning voice, looking at the blond guy laying beside him. "are you hungry? i'm gonna make us some breakfast", he smiled, kissed his boyfriend on the forehead and got out of bed. he came back twenty minutes later, with a plate full of sandwiches and two cups of coffee, as usual.  
but nothing else was usual. while joe was eating his breakfast and sharing his plans for today with the blondie, his younger brother, john, was sat on the chair opposite the bed. he was watching joe being in his own world, sharing his life with a cardboard cutout of his boyfriend, ben, who died in car crash 4 months ago, not being able to deal with his loss. john and the rest of his family tried everything, hoping that his brother would just move on, but nothing worked. all they could think of now is either letting it all go, or sending him to mental institution. but they couldn't. no one was brave enough to tell joe that he's lost his mind, no one was brave enough to tell him that he needs help. because they all knew it just won't work. gwil, his best friend, spent an entire week at joe's house, trying his best to help. but it all ended up with a big arguement and joe telling him to  _fuck off and never talk to him again_. and so gwil did, losing two of his friends in one week.  
"joey, your audition is today, we need to leave in an hour", john said quietly, looking at his brother with so much compassion in his eyes. he knew what was coming, and he was terrified. but it was the only way to help him.  
"oh, i totally forgot! ben, my love, i need to leave you for a while, but i'll be back soon, i promise", joe whispered, kissed his 'boyfriend' on the lips and left the bed to get ready.  
as soon as they left the apartment, gwil and allen showed up, opened the door and made sure no one was in. they left a little note, trying to recreate ben's handwriting, took the cutout and left in a hurry. they knew it was stupid and childish, but it was the only way.

a few hours later, brothers came back home. john went to the kitchen in order to make a dinner, and joe rushed to the bedroom to greet his lover. but he wasn't there. all joe could see was a little note on the bed that said  _my love, i know it's hard, but it's wrong. you can't live like that anymore. remember that i will always love you. b x_.

"john? john!", he rushed back to the kitchen, tears streaming down his face. "john, what did you to do him?", he asked, heavily breathing. "what did you do?!"  
"joe, please, calm down... you  _need_  to understand that you have to let go... don't you realise how hard is for all of us? it's been four fucking months, joe! we can't live like that anymore! there's nothing you can do to bring ben back, he's gone for good... please, you have to move on", john said almost inaudibly. joe shook his head in response, laughing shortly. "you have no idea what i've been through now, john. you have no fucking idea how hard it is to lose the love of your life, have you? of course not", he scoffed. "you have no idea, and yet you're trying to tell me what i should and shouldn't do. and you know what, little brother? i hope that someday you'll be in my shoes, i hope that someday you'll have to say goodbye to the only person that mattered in your life. an then you can run around, talking about how we should move on.", joe said with shaky voice, took a deep breath and left the apartment. john was still in the kitchen, speechless. and then it hit him. he realised what was going to happen, so he called gwil immediately, run out of the house and followed his brother.

half an hour later john, gwilym and allen found their brother, their friend, sitting under the tree, the same tree that killed ben. he had something in his hands, which appeared to be a little knife. gwil was the first person to realise that, so he slowly approached joe, frightened, and quietly sat next to him.  
"you know, when i was young, i always wanted a happy, steady life, and i had one", joe smiled softly. "i had a beautiful life, beautiful friends, beautiful boyfriend. i wanted to propose to him, you know? i wanted my perfect life to be even more perfect. and it took one moment, one short moment to destroy it all." he laughed quietly, closed his eyes and tilted his head back. "and you know what else is funny? that i'm too old to start a new life, with someone different. i will never manage to be happy ever again. _never_ , gwil."  
"joey... maybe you're right, maybe we don't know how you feel. but i know that no matter what you said to me earlier, i am still your friend, and i won't allow you to ruin your life just like that. please, come back home with us, let us help you, and we will do whatever it takes to make you feel that life still has sense."  
"whatever it takes?", joe asked, opening his eyes to look at the other guy faithfully.  
"whatever it takes."  
after a while of silence, gwil carefully took the knife out of joe's hands and threw it away. he got up, joe following him. and then he sobbed. he saw something under the tree, on the other side of the road. he saw _someone_.

it was ben, looking at his lover with these perfect blue eyes, adorable smile and a cigarette in his hand.  
"benjamin", joe whispered, smiled and closed his eyes for a while. when he opened them again, ben was still there, waving, still smiling. joe fixed his hair, took a deep breath, and suddenly there was nothing that could separate them again. it was only joe and ben. and a big truck approaching the older one. but joe didn't care. all that mattered was that he could reunite with the love of his life.

and so he did.

**Author's Note:**

> hello lovies :)  
> this is my first hardzello fanfic, inspired by my lovely female friends gc (@femfriendstwt, visit us for an amazing content)  
> also please note that english is not my native language, so if there are any mistakes, i'm very, very sorry!


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